Pablo Feedback

Log Line:

When a young man starts going out with his crush, he is confronted to the realities of his identity/sexuality and how it could be perceived in his immigrant Latino household.

Theme(s):

The theme of finding ones sexuality and identity in today’s society is very clear. I like how you focused on this theme because it is very important and prominent in todays society.

Plot & Structure:

The plot and structure is very organized and you have a lot of information on what is happening in each scene. Maybe you can have a scene where he puts the hairpins in and takes them out into his mother telling him to take them out to further demonstrate her discomfort with his identity.

Characters:

I feel that your characters are very well developed and you can identify each of them perfectly with their distinct features and mannerisms. I was able to get a good understanding of each of them which is very important.

Other: I am only worried about you not being able to fit everything in a 20 page script, so maybe condensing the scenes a bit and focusing on the crucial scenes that enhance the characters journey. However, overall I really enjoy it and I think it is going to be a great script.